Sunday, April 13, 2008

So much sad news today. Gavin 3 year old from another blog site starts chemo this week for brain cancer. Gentleman in our emmaus community is in the final stages of brain cancer. Patience husband is suppose to enter a halfway house to get off of whatever drugs he is on, Magan, Kevin and the kids have moved back from Bryan/College Station and have moved into a house that the owners have not moved out of, (their underwear is still in the drawers) God this seems so unfair, and yet I know that at all times You are in control. And I have to trust You, which is hard at times. I know I can yell and scream at you, but what good will that do?

Father, I want to be sold out to you, and so in love with Jesus I am eat up with it. Please keep moving me toward my surrender, and as Walt said this morning....Please don't take me off the wheel.

Page 14 Being a woman who says yes to God means making the choice to trust Him even when you can't understand why He requires some of the things He does.

Page 14 God absolutely loves to take ordinary people and do extraordinary things in them, through them, and with them.

Page 18 God reveils Himself and His activity to all of us, but very few want an encounter with Him. Encounters cause extreme changes in our plans, our perspectives, and our personhood, and most of us hate change.
The most exciting part of being a christian is experiencing God.
In today's society it is radical to obey God's commands, listen to the Holy Spirit's convictions, and walk in Jesus' character. But we will never experience the radicial blessing God has in store for us without radical obedience. It is the road that leads to blessing. It is what happens when women say yes to God. And you won't find the full blessing until you give walking in obedience your full attention. (Can't just play at this I either have to get serious or get gone)

Father, You are hitting me with the O word, and I don't know if it is worse the the S word. Surrender and you have any ideal how hard it is to do this? This seems so flat tonight. I don't know if it is because I am still chewing on Walt's sermon this morning (really doubt that) or because I have unconfessed sin that is blocking up the lines. I think it is the unconfessed sin, the fact that I gossip about Magan and Kevin and what is going on in their lives, even after I have told others to be nice because that is my child. Father forgive me for the evil speak against Magan and Kevin. Father I left them and the situation to You, trusting that You do have it all under control, and that this is the part of breaking and making Magan and Kevin into the family of God that You would have them to be. Father I also need to ask you to forgive me for being ugly with Rusty. Father help me to see him as you do, and to love him with that first love again. I should be more in love with him now then I was 25 years ago, and sometime, most times I am not feeling it. Father help me to be still and hear you speak to me, Father I pray that you will cause me to hear what You have been whispering in my ear, You have to remember I like loud music, so you will probably have to speak up a little. I love You, but I want to love you more. I want to be sold out to You, surrendered and obedient. I want to be in love with Jesus I want Him to be real to me. I want the Holy Spirit to be alive well and working in me. Thank You that as long as there is breath in my body You will not give up on me. Thank you that You alone are God and it is by Your Word that everything moves, and stay where you tell it to. Thank you for this day, it has been good. In Jesus name Amen.

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