Behind Those Eyes Chapter One

I have attempted to start this blog entry several times and have walked off from it because I am still the little girl on the play ground waiting for someone to come pick me to play with and afraid that I will be the last one picked again.



Lelia at Write From the Heart is hosting a new Tuesday Yes to God study. We are using Lisa Whittle's book BEHIND THOSE EYES.

Lisa started standing on my toes and messing in my life from the first words in Chapter One "The Truth Hurts" and continued right on through to the study guide.

Challenge Verse: "What you're after is the truth from the inside out" Psalms 51:6 MSG This verse scares me. Why? Because I am not sure that I am ready for the "truth". I have so lived the lie of being totally put together on the outside. Mouthing the right words, doing what is necessary to be accepted, that at times I do not know who the "real" me is anymore. From childhood to now, I have so wanted to fit and to be accepted that I have done whatever was necessary to fit, and that has included lying, cheating, and stealing, to name a few. These are not things that I am proud of, but is who I am and who I was, but not whom I want to be.

To pick a question from either the Truth Talk or Behind Your Eyes, is almost impossible, so I will sum up both of these sections and say this.

Authenticity is to be real, to be willing to put yourself out there, and to quit being so worried about whether or not you will be accepted by people, when the only one you have to please is God.

As I was writing this God gave me a quote that I like "Faith without scars, is textbook faith, and it will not hold water in a flood."

God keeps reminding me that I am to be holy, because He is holy. This is not self important, I am better than you self righteousness masquerading as holiness. This a holiness that comes out of love and humility, and a desire to please the One who died for me.

To be real enough to look someone in the face and say "you know what, you matter, You Heavenly Father loves you, and even if I don't have all the answers, I know who does" "I want to see the real you, because you do matter."

I have felt most of my life like I have lived on the edge of the crowd, more tolerated that accepted. At times the results of my own making, and at times not. But still on the edge. So the skin becomes thicker, and the mask goes on. And I turn into myself and not to God. I am hoping and praying that this study will change that, and that I will learn what true authenticity is, and how to apply it to my life.

Sallye