Thank you Lelia for hosting "BEHIND THOSE EYES" by Lisa Whittle. We are discussing and dissecting chapter 2 this week. Titled MS. PERFECTION.
I so wanted to be able to say this chapter does not apply to me, I really did, because in most areas of my life I am not a perfectionist. I do not have to have the perfect house, and I do not have to be totally together before I head out the door to work, if it's clean and no holes, I'm good. But, that's not the "real" part of my life. The real part of my life is Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Thursday evening Bible study. Now that is a whole different ball of wax. There I have to be perfect I have to fit in and have it all together ya know. Can't let any of the garbage from the rest of the week be hanging out, or smelling up the place. So I have done the "Great Sunday Morning Fakeout" as Lisa calls it. Madder than an old wet hen at my husband, but let us walk in the door and God has been good to me. We are attending a new church, so you have to have the "perfect suit" on and all the buttons buttoned so nothing can escape. The most freeing thing that has happened to us in the past couple of weeks, is that we have discovered, our Lay Pastors are not perfect, and if they are not perfect, that means that maybe I don't have to be, and maybe some of the junk from the week can be let out and prayed over, and they will not escort us to the door, and say thanks, but no thanks.
I think the saddest thing about trying to be perfect is that it gets heavy. You always have to be "on" you can never let your guard down, and it tends to put a wall up between you and other people, because let's face it, we all would like to be perfect, and we admire those that we think are and would like to be around them. But we tend to keep our distance because we just might not measure up.
Jesus is the only perfect one, and we are to strive to be like him, which means to reach some type of perfection here, but it's not the slap lipstick on the pig perfect. It is more of a perfectly imperfect type of perfection, that comes from being willing to be changed, to admit the faults and failing, and to run into His arms and allow Him to cover the imperfections with His perfection.
Lelia ask us to answer the question from the study guide "Search your heart. Is it more important for you to be seen as perfect in a certain area...or seen as real?" It is way more important to be seen as real in all areas of my life then perfect. I don't own a pedestal, I don't want one, and I don't want to be on one.
God is teaching me that it is better to play on the playground by myself, then to have fake friends that will teach me to be fake.
Chapter two has been very good. God is holding up a mirror and saying Sallye do you like what you see?
7 comments:
You are so right. Heavy is a good word for it. It just makes me tired. Isn't authenticity a better option. I'm trying...
"I think the saddest thing about trying to be perfect is that it gets heavy. You always have to be "on" you can never let your guard down, and it tends to put a wall up between you and other people"
Wow... did you take the words right out of my mouth. It is so heavy, and so hard to be "on" all the time. There have been times where I have ducked into a bathroom at church because I was about to burst into tears, and didn't want anyone to see me falling apart... because I couldn't keep the "perfect" going anymore... it was too heavy and I had to lay it down for just a moment... You know, doing that under the stall scan to make sure no one else is in there, and then sobbing, only to stop and hold your breath while someone comes in, and when they go back out, it all starts coming out again.
I can't tell you how many times the bathroom on the third floor of my counselors building has been used by me to curl up and sob before I have headed home to take care of my family!
Thanks for your thoughts!
God bless,
heather
Salley,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I too initially thought that "Ms. Perfection" didn't really apply to me. I don't have to be perfect all the time. I echo your sentiments "I do not have to have the perfect house, and I do not have to be totally together before I head out the door to work, if it's clean and no holes, I'm good." But, after thinking about this a bit more, and after reading the posts that people have put up, I realize that my children may have a different response than mine.
They have seen me stress out and run around trying to get everything "perfect" for a guest that is coming to visit. When I quilt, which ironically is my "hobby," I strive for perfection and I refuse to show any of my quilts because they are not perfect. At Bible study I always want to have the right answer, to be wise and to encourage others; I hate to show myself as vulnerable. There is a lot for me to learn in this chapter if only I dig a bit deeper. Thank you again for sharing your insights! They really opened my eyes.
Blessings to you and your family,
Karen
"God is holding up a mirror and saying Sallye do you like what you see?"-that touched my heart. You don't know how long I have battled looking onto that mirror afraid of what I would see. But I have to look with with my spiritual glasses and see me as God see's me. Thank you for this post! I have been blessed!
In His Graces~Pamela
I so agree with you about Sunday mornings or anytime as we go to church. You would think it's the one place we could feel like... the hair doesn't matter attitude.
Love your thoughts on going to church as Ms. Perfect.
Sallye,
Great post, isn't it a relief to figure out that even our pastors aren't perfect.
I like what you said here "It is more of a perfectly imperfect type of perfection, that comes from being willing to be changed, to admit the faults and failing, and to run into His arms and allow Him to cover the imperfections with His perfection. "
Being in the Arms of Jesus is where I want to be.
Sallye,
Beautiful post. Words like "heavy" and "on" certainly strike a chord with me. Put like that, they don't sound so "perfect," do they?
Thank you for running after truth. You will never be sorry, my friend!
I prayed for you by name tonight!
Lisa :)
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